Prank Wars
by Kirkysaurus
Summary: It all started when Axel decided to send the Organization into a pranking frenzy... and it got worse when he involved Xigbar. So now the Freeshooter is helping Roxas and Xion get back at their prankers. And Demyx returns to searching for a missing duck. Features XigRokuShi friendship, Saix-puppy, and brief XigDem loves. Rated-T for safety.


**A/N: I'm in a bit of a writer's block again, so I think maybe one or two oneshots might help. And seeing as it's almost Halloween... maybe some pranking is in order? Yes? No? Maybe? Well, we'll go with that anyway. It'll be funny to watch the Organization members try to outdo each other with strange pranks.**

**At least to me it will.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own squat. Not even a game.**

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.: " [ Prank Wars ] " :.

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"Hello, Xigbar."

The one-eyed man looked up from the magazine he was reading to meet the sight of Axel for three seconds, before the redhead threw a water balloon in his face.

"..." Xigbar raised his left hand and snapped his fingers once, which caused Axel to disappear in a puff of purple smoke. Tossing his now unreadable magazine into the trash can a few feet away, the Freeshooter rose from the couch - which was also now wet because of Axel, Saix would throw a fit - and began walking off in the direction of his room.

"Xigbar! Help!" He slowly turned his head around to see Xion and Roxas running towards him, each holding a box of what looked like joke equipment.

Oh, no...

"AXEL STARTED A PRANK WAR!" They shouted together, before Xigbar appeared next to them and placed a hand each on their shoulders, making them all disappear. Immediately after that, Marluxia was seen in the same hallway throwing a pizza, which unfortunately for him hit Larxene in the face.

"DEATH TO ALL INFIDELS!"

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"Flamesilocks has really been wearing my patience thin these last few weeks," Xigbar dew out, sitting on his bed with a towel draped over his head. Roxas and Xion were sitting on the floor of his room, going through all of the things they had managed to steal for this little prank war. All Roxas managed to get his hands on were a few fake peanut cans, rubber vomit, a flower that sprays water at people, and clown shoes. Xion had better luck - she had bengay, some black, lace panties (that Roxas and Xigbar did not want to know how, or where, she got them from), a small box of safety scissors, glue, fake blood, and a box of tampons.

"Xigbar, you'll help me with getting Vexen back, right?" The one-eyed man glanced down at the young girl who was staring up at him with big, sad puppy-dog eyes.

"Sure, Kairi."

"I still don't know who this 'Kairi' person is," She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as more of her now red hair fell in her eyes. Vexen's prank for Number XIV was not very good - all he did was lengthen her hair, and dye it a wine color. Only Xemnas seemed to be agitated by this prank.

"Hey! What about me!" Roxas chimed in, rolling up his coat sleeve to show the sleeve of tattoos on his once pale arm. "I know Axel did this and I want revenge!"

"Well, I can definitely get Vexen back for you." He responded, grabbing the bengay, panties, tampons, and fake blood. Xion let out a 'squee' of excitement before jumping up and giving Xigbar a tight hug before taking her seat back on the ground with Roxas. "As for you, kid..."

"Yeah?" Roxas said hopefully, his blue eyes lighting up as he clasped his hands together in front of his chest.

"You didn't get any good stuff."

"Aww..." The blonde flopped forwards onto the ground, muttering something into the floor before Xigbar grabbed him and Xion and sat them on the bed.

"Ready to hear the plan?" They both nodded their heads excitedly, Xion getting more red hair in her face while Roxas scratched his arm. Xigbar's face broke into a crooked smirk as he leaned forward and began whispering his plans into their ears, causing Xion to giggle and Roxas' face to turn red.

"That sounds so fun." Xion commented, giggling into her hand while tucking some of her hair behind her ear. Roxas muttered something sounding like agreement, his face still red as Xigbar broke out into a low laugh.

"Oh it will be, kiddies."

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_-Somewhere else in the Castle-_

"Xiggy-duckie, you have to stay over here with Hat-duck and Demyx-duckie," Demyx chided the little rubber creature, moving it away from where it was trying to beat up the Vexen-duck. He looked over at the Marly-duck and lifted it up, placing it on top of the Vexen-duck's back. "And you belong with Vexen-duck."

He reached a hand up to scratch at his mullet-mohawk, looking over the rest of his ducks before his expression turned sour. He let out a sigh and grabbed the Xemnas-duck from where he was on top of the Roxas-duck and threw him at the Saix-duck who was sitting on his desk in a box. He then moved his Roxas-duck over next to the Xion-duck, before smiling down at all of them.

"Hey wait a minute... where did my Axel-duck go?"

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_-Outside of Vexen's lab-_

"You two remember the plan?" Xigbar whispered to the two younger Nobodies, who both nodded their heads softly. He nodded once in response before slowly pushing the door to Vexen's lab open, and slinking inside much like a Shadow Heartless would. Roxas and Xion both tiptoed inside, each holding their boxes from before. The three Nobodies snuck further into the lab, until they found Vexen asleep with his face down on his desk.

"Pass me the panties," The Freeshooter whispered to Xion, who eagerly handed him the article of underwear. He placed a hand on Vexen's sleeping shoulder and snapped his fingers, disappearing somewhere with the blonde Nobody. A few seconds later he returned, grabbing the bengay out of Roxas' box before disappearing once more. He returned a minute later, with Vexen tied up to a net, his entire body sprinkled with the power-y substance while a large amount had been deposited into the panties he was now wearing.

"Enjoy the burn," He smirked, placing a hand each on Roxas and Xion's shoulders, before the three of them disappeared once more. The three Nobodies ended up outside of Axel's room, where Xigbar quickly ushered Roxas inside, leaving Xion in the hallway.

"I KNEW IT!" She turned her head and was met with the sight of Xemnas at the other end of the hallway, who was radiating rage in her direction.

"... Huh?"

"I KNEW THAT WRETCHED PRINCESS INFILTRATED MY ORGANIZATION!" He seethed, beginning to foam at the mouth as he summoned his Interdiction blades, before rushing at the young Nobody. Xion backed away in panic, only for her back to hit the wall while her mind raced for a way to save her from being executed.

"SAIX-PUPPY!"

Xemnas stopped in his tracks, letting out a low hiss before turning his head around to glare down at the blue-haired Nobody who was currently biting into his rear-end.

"N-Number VII..." He spoke in a somewhat soft voice down to Saix, who tilted his head up slightly, never letting go of Xemnas' ass with his teeth. "P-please... re-release me..."

"His eyes turned a haunting shade of yellow, before he slowly released Xemnas. The Superior was about to thank him, but was cut off when he let out a fierce, loud howl, prompting the silver-haired man to run away as Saix chased him on all-fours. Xion let out a sigh of relief just as Xigbar peeked his head out of Axel's room with an eyebrow raised.

"Did I miss something?"

"Not really," Xion replied softly, picking up her box before she and the Freeshooter left the hallway, Roxas prepared inside of Axel's room for his revenge prank.

"Oh, do you need a tie for your hair? You look strange with it down like that."

The pair stopped walking and Xigbar reached a hand up to feel the top of his head, where sure enough, he had forgotten to tie his hair back up in his famed, sexy ponytail. He let out a sigh before he and Xion turned around and made a detour back to his room.

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_-Elsewhere-_

"Hmm..." Demyx was currently sitting cross-legged on the floor inside of the library - Zexion's personal library - where he had turned the place upside down and inside out, trying to find his last duck. He reached over and grabbed a random book, flipping through the pages before stopping and reading a line from it.

_'You're... a vampire.'_

"..." Closing the book, Demyx turned it back over to the cover, his blank expression never leaving his face as he stared at it.

_Twilight._

"Poor Zexy, getting his library flooded like that," The blonde Nobody mused with a sigh, tossing the book back into a corner before snapping his fingers, allowing water to begin rapidly filling the room. He quickly made his way out through the door on the higher-level of the library and began skipping down the hallway with an innocent expression on his face.

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_-Kitchen-_

Xigbar had his hair back in a ponytail and was now leaning against one of the counters in the kitchen, eating a strawberry ice cream bar. Xion was seated on the counter next to him, brushing wine-colored hair out of her eyes every few minutes as she ate her Seasalt ice cream.

"IT BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNSSS S!"

"Looks like Vexen's awake," The Freeshooter mused, taking a bite out of his ice cream as the blonde scientist ran into the kitchen. He shouted out some incoherent speech before knocking over one of the refrigerators, where he threw open the freezer door and jumped inside, before shutting it behind him. Xigbar and Xion both stared at the toppled-over freezer, blinked, then went back to eating their ice cream.

"It didn't work," Roxas sighed out as he walked into the kitchen, wearing a plain black t-shirt instead of his Organization coat so he could scratch the tattoos on his arm. Axel limped into the kitchen a few minutes later, a blissful expression on his face as he blindly went over to the freezer, pulled out an ice pack, and placed it against his rear-end.

"... What did you do?" Xion questioned, to which Xigbar interrupted with a soft sound, before covering the girl's ears. She let out a soft sound of agreement before finishing the last of her ice cream, and taking the second one Roxas handed her as he began downing the two at once.

"You're gonna get sick, kid."

"Yeah, but it's so good..." Xigbar let out a soft chuckle before ruffling Roxas' hair, just as Demyx skipped into the kitchen.

"XIGGY!" The mullet-head lunged at the one-eyed man, wrapping himself around his upper-body like a koala would a tree before nuzzling his face into his neck. The older male chuckled before gently running his fingers through the hair on the back of Demyx's head which earned a soft sound moan from the blonde. Saix-puppy trudged into the kitchen and sat down on the ground next to Xigbar's feet, pulling out his laptop to most likely do some work.

"Thanks for going easy on them this time, Xiggy." Demyx mused, patting the Freeshooter's head softly. This earned a 'heh' sound from the one-eyed man, who smirked down at Demyx.

"I'm not done yet, kiddo."

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_-The Next Day-_

Everything seemed to have calmed down after the events of the Prank War, and gone back to normal. Marluxia was still sobbing over his charred garden, Vexen was still itchy and red in most places, and Axel was begging Roxas to dominate him.

So yeah, pretty much normal.

Larxene had gone out earlier and gotten dye removal in Twilight Town for Xion, thinking that it would return the girl back to her once black hair. Xigbar had instructed the two Female Nobodies to make sure to keep the girls' bathroom locked all day, though, and to only allow Roxas, Demyx, and himself inside. Larxene had already known why and had a wide smirk on her face the entire morning, while Xion and Roxas were still clueless. But the entire Organization found out why, when Xemnas awoke about half an hour later and went into the men's bathroom to apply ointment to the bite marks on his can.

"NUMBER II!"

"Hm?" Xemnas jumped and dropped all of his things before glaring up at Xigbar, who was hanging upside down on the ceiling. Xemnas let out a low growl and pointed to the toilet right above him before responding through gritted teeth.

"I need to pee."

"Alright," Xigbar shrugged, snapping his fingers as the toilet fell directly on top of Xemnas' head. All that could be seen outside from it were his arms, legs, and stomach, but that didn't last very long as the Superior of the Organization began to shrivel up and disappear underneath the now broken toilet.

"Oh look, the wicked witch is dead. Happy Halloween, kiddies."

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**A/N: … Teehee.**

**… I'm bad at pranking. Also, this is full of references! Sort of!**

**… Hawk reminded me that I had never added an Axel-duck in 'Rubber Duckies', so this is where he makes his debut. Or wait... did I have Demyx find him? Oh, and there's some Twilight-bashing for you Twilight-haters. And Saix-puppy in reference to like, everything, but especially this comic I saw on DA where Saix bites Xemnas on the ass. The upside-down bathroom is reference to a oneshot I read once, which I cannot remember the name of. It was cute and fluffy, if I remember correctly. With just the right amount of humor and sexy.**

**I think that's it. So... until next time! I have an idea for a Halloween oneshot in my head. Well, the basis for it. No details yet... But yeah.**

**Oh yeah, the Roxas/Axel thing with the sleeve of tattoos is in reference to a dirty picture where Roxas is topping Axel. And has sleeves.**

**So... Enjoy!**


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